don't be a farmer - - -
 

A farmer is sat in his local getting drunk when the barman wanders over and says, "Grateful as I am for the business, it’s a beautiful day out there, why aren’t you out there enjoying it?"

The farmer shakes his head, "Some things you just can’t explain."

"Want to talk about it?" asks the barman, sensing a problem.

"Sure," replies the farmer. "Earlier I was sat milking my cow and just as I got the bucket full she lifted her leg and kicked the whole lot over."

"That’s not so bad," says the barman.

"That’s what I thought," replies the farmer. "After all, some things you just can’t explain."

"So what happenend then?" asks the barman.

"Well, I took her left leg and tied it to a post," explains the farmer. "But just a few minutes later her right leg kicked the bucket over again!"

"Some things you just can’t explain, eh?" laughs the barman.

"Right," says the farmer. "So I tied that leg to another post, started milking again and then her tail knocks the bucket over!"

"So what did you do?" asks the barman.

"Well, I’d run out of rope by then," says the farmer. "So I took my belt off and tied her tail to the rafter. Then my pants fell down and the wife walked in....and well, like I said, some things you just can’t explain."

Nice one.

Some things are better left unexplained too.