Everything You Need to Know About Relationship Counselling
09-14-2021, 10:39 PM
#1
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Everything You Need to Know About Relationship Counselling
For many of us, relationships are a source of comfort, happiness, and well-being. And that’s precisely how healthy relationships should feel.
However, that doesn’t mean it’s smooth sailing all the way. In fact, each and every couple will encounter their fair share of difficulties and obstacles. It takes effort on both sides to face life’s ups and downs together.
Unfortunately, small disputes can turn into heated arguments; routine can become boredom, and the love that brought two people together can ‘run dry’ quickly if there’s no one to nurture it.
And this is where relationship counselling comes into play. With the help of a licensed counsellor or psychologist, distressed couples can find their way to a lasting relationship or a mutually beneficial separation.
This form of psychotherapy addresses the behaviours of all family members and the way these behaviours affect not only individual family members but also relationships between family members and the family unit as a whole. As such, treatment is usually divided between time spent on individual therapy and time spent on couple therapy, family therapy, or both, if necessary.
Over the years, we’ve grown accustomed to believing that doing couples counselling means going to a professional who will solve our relationships issues. In reality, couples counselling involves more than just ‘taking’ your problems to a professional, hoping that he or she will somehow make everything ok.
Relationship counselling is a complex self-exploration process that helps partners discover the links that bring (and keep) them together. The purpose of therapy is to guide the couple towards a more profound understanding of themselves as a team.
With the aid of a licensed professional, partners gain the courage to be honest and vulnerable with each other, and the curiosity to understand each other’s needs and desires.
But what if we’re not dealing with anything serious?
Even if it might sound unnecessary, doing couples counselling before problems occur is something that many experts recommend. Even if everything seems to go well between you and your partner, it never hurts to consult a professional occasionally – that’s how you keep small problems from becoming big enough to interfere with your relationship.
Plus, relationship counselling is a great way to boost communication between partners, get to know your significant other better, and maybe turn your relationship from ‘good’ to ‘great.’
In essence, relationship counselling is about two people learning to speak and listen to each other.
In the beginning, each partner strives to bring out the best version of himself/herself, in an attempt to create a good impression – this creates mutual attraction.
Over time, the context in which the two began their relationship can change. Maybe one of them loses his/her job or perhaps a baby is on the way. In other words, every couple goes through challenges and new experiences that can reshape their future.
And, as we all know, change can unveil both the best and worst aspects of our inner self. I’m talking about the unseen dangers that can turn the person we love into a person we no longer recognise.
As with individual counselling, couples and relationship counselling should be taken into consideration from the moment the first signs of trouble appear. Because however small some problems might seem in the beginning, the heated arguments, and occasional misunderstandings can ‘tear down’ your relationship piece by piece.
One of the reasons why couples don’t consult a counsellor as often as they should is that they don’t see relationship problems as ‘real’ problems. Consequently, they fail to see the point of relationship counselling.
Even though experts in relationship problems are making an effort to move towards a more clinical model – as a result of the increasing number of distressed couples – many of us continue to view relationship issues as something that should only concern the partners.
But since a dysfunctional relationship can have profoundly adverse effects on both partner’s personal and professional life, it’s obvious that we should put aside all the misconceptions that we hold about couples and relationship counselling and ask for help whenever our relationship is going through a rough patch.
All and all, the sooner you (and your partner) seek professional help, the better the chances of keeping your relationship alive and healthy.
However, not all couples are willing to try therapy. While some think their problems are unsolvable, others don’t know how a ‘third party’ could guide them towards a solution.
Over the years, researchers have conducted numerous studies to determine the effectiveness of different therapeutic approaches for couples. For example, one recent scientific review revealed that emotionally focused couples therapy is an ‘effective treatment both in facilitating change during treatment, and in maintaining those improvements following treatment.’
Other studies suggest that counselling can increase relationship satisfaction by cultivating forgiveness and also serve as a viable approach to partner violence.
Long story short, there’s enough scientific evidence to confirm that relationship counselling works.
But to fully understand why you (and your partner) should consult a couples counsellor when your relationship isn’t working, let’s take a look at the telltale signs of a potential breakup or separation.
And the man who researched this subject for about forty years is John Gottman, psychological researcher and one of the world’s leading experts in divorce prediction and marital stability.
After four decades of research, Gottman identified four factors that can predict the end of a relationship. He called it The Four Horsemen, a model that is currently used by relationship counsellors from all over the world.
So, what should partners be on the lookout for and why is relationship counselling vital if you wish to avoid breakup or divorce?
However, that doesn’t mean it’s smooth sailing all the way. In fact, each and every couple will encounter their fair share of difficulties and obstacles. It takes effort on both sides to face life’s ups and downs together.
Unfortunately, small disputes can turn into heated arguments; routine can become boredom, and the love that brought two people together can ‘run dry’ quickly if there’s no one to nurture it.
And this is where relationship counselling comes into play. With the help of a licensed counsellor or psychologist, distressed couples can find their way to a lasting relationship or a mutually beneficial separation.
What is Relationship Counselling?
While some call it ‘relationship counselling,’ or ‘marriage counselling‘ others refer to it as ‘couples therapy.’ But the official name of this therapeutic process is Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT).This form of psychotherapy addresses the behaviours of all family members and the way these behaviours affect not only individual family members but also relationships between family members and the family unit as a whole. As such, treatment is usually divided between time spent on individual therapy and time spent on couple therapy, family therapy, or both, if necessary.
Over the years, we’ve grown accustomed to believing that doing couples counselling means going to a professional who will solve our relationships issues. In reality, couples counselling involves more than just ‘taking’ your problems to a professional, hoping that he or she will somehow make everything ok.
Relationship counselling is a complex self-exploration process that helps partners discover the links that bring (and keep) them together. The purpose of therapy is to guide the couple towards a more profound understanding of themselves as a team.
With the aid of a licensed professional, partners gain the courage to be honest and vulnerable with each other, and the curiosity to understand each other’s needs and desires.
But what if we’re not dealing with anything serious?
Even if it might sound unnecessary, doing couples counselling before problems occur is something that many experts recommend. Even if everything seems to go well between you and your partner, it never hurts to consult a professional occasionally – that’s how you keep small problems from becoming big enough to interfere with your relationship.
Plus, relationship counselling is a great way to boost communication between partners, get to know your significant other better, and maybe turn your relationship from ‘good’ to ‘great.’
In essence, relationship counselling is about two people learning to speak and listen to each other.
When to Seek Relationship Counselling
Making relationships work isn’t easy. Let’s not forget that we’re talking about two different people, with different life stories, coming together to build one future.In the beginning, each partner strives to bring out the best version of himself/herself, in an attempt to create a good impression – this creates mutual attraction.
Over time, the context in which the two began their relationship can change. Maybe one of them loses his/her job or perhaps a baby is on the way. In other words, every couple goes through challenges and new experiences that can reshape their future.
And, as we all know, change can unveil both the best and worst aspects of our inner self. I’m talking about the unseen dangers that can turn the person we love into a person we no longer recognise.
As with individual counselling, couples and relationship counselling should be taken into consideration from the moment the first signs of trouble appear. Because however small some problems might seem in the beginning, the heated arguments, and occasional misunderstandings can ‘tear down’ your relationship piece by piece.
One of the reasons why couples don’t consult a counsellor as often as they should is that they don’t see relationship problems as ‘real’ problems. Consequently, they fail to see the point of relationship counselling.
Even though experts in relationship problems are making an effort to move towards a more clinical model – as a result of the increasing number of distressed couples – many of us continue to view relationship issues as something that should only concern the partners.
But since a dysfunctional relationship can have profoundly adverse effects on both partner’s personal and professional life, it’s obvious that we should put aside all the misconceptions that we hold about couples and relationship counselling and ask for help whenever our relationship is going through a rough patch.
All and all, the sooner you (and your partner) seek professional help, the better the chances of keeping your relationship alive and healthy.
Signs You Need to Consult a Relationship Counsellor:
1. You’re having trouble communicating with each other
‘Bad’ communication is one of the most common obstacles that distressed couples face. Sometimes, it almost feels the two of you are speaking different languages. And once communication ‘breaks down’ other problems will follow.2. Arguments are a constant part of your routine as a couple
While occasional arguments can ‘recalibrate’ the relationship, constant arguing inflicts continuous damage to the relationship, often leading to contempt and stonewalling. When heated disputes become part of your routine, perhaps it’s time to consult a relationship counsellor.3. One of you no longer trusts the other
We all know that trust is difficult to gain and easy to lose. And once you betray your partner’s trust – or he/she betrays yours – winning it back can be extremely challenging. If you want to give each other a second chance, couples counselling is the best place to start.4. The same problems tend to surface whenever one of you complains
Sometimes, putting your relationship back on track means going against the dysfunctional patterns that have kept you going in circles for years. In such cases, a relationship counsellor can help you two explore these ‘toxic’ behavioural patterns and replace them with healthier ones.5. You no longer feel connected to each other
Some couples find it difficult to put their finger on the exact problem that is causing them distress. In other words, they feel lost and disconnected without knowing why. Luckily, the input of a relationship counsellor can help them gain insights into why their relationship doesn’t work like it used to.Why Should I Consult a Relationship Counsellor?
For struggling couples, relationship counselling can be the ticket to lasting happiness or a way to end their relationship in a decent manner. Either way, couples counselling focuses primarily on facilitating communication and helping partners find their own solutions, instead of suggesting a specific course of action.However, not all couples are willing to try therapy. While some think their problems are unsolvable, others don’t know how a ‘third party’ could guide them towards a solution.
Over the years, researchers have conducted numerous studies to determine the effectiveness of different therapeutic approaches for couples. For example, one recent scientific review revealed that emotionally focused couples therapy is an ‘effective treatment both in facilitating change during treatment, and in maintaining those improvements following treatment.’
Other studies suggest that counselling can increase relationship satisfaction by cultivating forgiveness and also serve as a viable approach to partner violence.
Long story short, there’s enough scientific evidence to confirm that relationship counselling works.
But to fully understand why you (and your partner) should consult a couples counsellor when your relationship isn’t working, let’s take a look at the telltale signs of a potential breakup or separation.
And the man who researched this subject for about forty years is John Gottman, psychological researcher and one of the world’s leading experts in divorce prediction and marital stability.
After four decades of research, Gottman identified four factors that can predict the end of a relationship. He called it The Four Horsemen, a model that is currently used by relationship counsellors from all over the world.
So, what should partners be on the lookout for and why is relationship counselling vital if you wish to avoid breakup or divorce?
09-15-2021, 03:55 PM
#2
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 13
It is not always a good decision to save something that is really doomed. Dating is a great period which will tell you whether you have found a right partner or not. And if you do not have official obligations like marriage, it is better to depart. I am currently dating online https://megapersonalseu.com/. And if I feel this is not my type of a person, I will simply stop communication.
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