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Old 01-29-2005, 10:44 AM
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Talking Addictions

Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome Even more serious than the mania for chocolate is the growing epidemic of MAS, or Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome. Don't laugh because you might be its next victim. Just to give you a possible heads up in case it's creeping up on you, here are a few questions to quietly answer for yourself.

How many of these apply to you?

1. I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.

2. I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in a day.

3. I ride rapidly, often 'gulping' roads.

4. I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work.

5. I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen.

6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ride motorcycles.

7. Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I were riding, even while in cars.

8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.

9. At a boring party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.

10. Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.

11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.

12. I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.

13. I have attempted to complete an Iron Butt ride.

14. Most of my friends are unapologetic motorcycle riders.

15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.

16. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of riding.

17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden; or, worse, NOT ridden.

18. I have sometimes wished I did not ride so much.

19. Sometimes I think my riding is out of control.

If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you may be a motorcycle addict. Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem...professional help is strongly advised.

Once a relatively rare disorder, Motorcycle Addiction Syndrome, or MAS, has risen to new levels due to the accessibility of higher quality motorcycles at a relatively low expense since the end of the Second World War. The number of motorcycle addicts and abusers is currently at record levels.

SOCIAL COSTS OF MOTORCYCLE ABUSE

Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop bad posture from riding in awkward positions or carrying heavy tool bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky bike mechanics in small towns.

Excessive riding during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of Road Racers, Tourers, Squids, Wannabees and Posers alike.

Known as Fetal Motard Syndrome, this disease also leaves its victims prone to a lifetime of vertigo, daydreaming, emotional instability and an unnerving predilection for unsuitable leather garments.

HEREDITY

Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of motorcycles. Most abusers have at least one parent who abused motorcycles, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses or significant others of an addict become addicts themselves.

OTHER PREDISPOSING FACTORS

Fathers or mothers who are road race fans, collectors, or heavy leather wearers; parents who do not encourage children to play team games, read voraciously (except Rider and Motorcyclist magazines), or watch television (other than Speedvision) in the evening.

PREVENTION

Premarital screening and counseling, and referral to adoption agencies is urged in order to break the chain of abuse. One percenters in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity by joining teams, and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection. Proximity to road maps and National Geographic magazines should be restricted. Keep two-stroke oil securely locked away and out of reach. Playing cards inserted into bicycle spokes must be looked upon as a primary initial symptom, as should inadvertent twitching of the right wrist and incessant muttering of the syllables "Udden-Udden." Children noted exhibiting a 'thousand yard stare' in the direction of a setting sun are likewise considered candidates for early intervention. A preference for tiny boots and multi-colored leather diapers indicates incipient 'motorcycle madness' and requires urgent, immediate treatment if any semblance of normality is ever to be achieved.
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Old 01-29-2005, 10:29 PM
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I'm addicted to *****...but that's about it....

FBR
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Old 01-30-2005, 12:21 AM
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*****, The best and worst thing to ever happen to me.
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Old 01-30-2005, 04:59 PM
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HEH, FBR said *****.
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Old 01-30-2005, 08:05 PM
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Talking Meow

purrrrr.....

Bad Boys....
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Old 01-31-2005, 07:07 AM
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Hello, my name is Heavy Duty and I'm a addict. I have been riding off and on since I was 3 years old.

Is there a 12 step program for MAS? Never mind. I don't want to be cured.
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Old 01-31-2005, 07:20 AM
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Default I've heard...

that there is... or was some around... they all folded due to lack of membership... although I understand they still have their family support group... it's for the neglected mates of us poor addicts... sometimes, (and I don't know how...) many affilcted with MAS find ourselves married to people who just can't understand our addiction. It is recommended that you get these mates to counseling as soon as possible: those poor souls can really turn the enjoyment of our addiction into a nightmare.

My name is Chessie, and I don't give a damn what they say... I don't wanna be like them!
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Old 01-31-2005, 06:01 PM
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You could do what I did... quit cold turkey for 30 years!
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Old 02-01-2005, 01:32 AM
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Wink damn Natural...

how in the hell did your sweetie live wuth ya that long???? Her heart must be made of gold... and your poor kids, having to grow up deprived of the real you! COLD TURKEY??? My god, the shift of personaility alone would have caused my family to go out and buy me another bike... and insist that I never... ever... do that to them again, Anyway, glad to see you have recovered nuff to join the "real world!"
Chessie
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Old 02-01-2005, 07:35 AM
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perhaps this reply will be too serious for this thread but... an addiction is an addiction. I own the bike, the bike doesn't own me.
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Old 02-01-2005, 09:27 AM
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Talking serious????

Uh HUH,,,, next thing your gonna tell us is that you can quit any time you want. Yeah, ok.. we hear ya...
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Old 02-01-2005, 10:06 AM
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heh heh. I could! I could quit jerking off anytime I want to too. No really, I can! But seriously, I have my bicycles to fill the two wheel jones, they were my first love and still are.
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Old 02-01-2005, 10:10 AM
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I'm jonesing. I wish this snow would go away. Maybe I should build a trik so that I could ride in the winter too.
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Old 02-01-2005, 10:16 AM
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now THIS is what i'm addicted to... Rode for two weeks through France last summer following the Tour de France and watching Lance make history. This pic is of me 3k from the top of Alpe d'Huez. 8.5 mile climb, 21 switchbacks! I camped at the top and rode it two days in a row. In this pic I'm at about 9,500 ft elevation, almost at the snow level.
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