What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
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What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
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Why does a man have a hole in his *****?
To get some air to his brain.
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What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
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Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
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What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.
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How can you tell when a man's had an orgasm?
From the snoring.
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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
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Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
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Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
Because Janet Reno is her real father.
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What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room
together?
100 people who don't do dick.
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How did the tugboat get AIDs?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
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What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
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What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.
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What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
"Nice Dick!"
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What's the definition of eternity?
4 blondes at a 4-way stop intersection.
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Mom's have Mother's Day,
Father's have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
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What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
They're both filled with stiffs, only one's coming and one's going!
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How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.
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How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.

 

harleycat, you had spurting milk out of my nose. Those were some good ones.