Why Men Die First

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

If you cry............you're a wimp.
If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert.
If you don't ..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..............you're sexist.
If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
If you don't ................you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........you're full of yourself.
If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired.
If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often .........you're oversexed.
If you don't................there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.